procrastinated in posting again. (Aren't I clever?). Anywho, I am back, with a brand-spankin' new rant. Yay!
Here it goes:
What is with slow walkers? I cannot tell you how many times a week I get stuck behind the world's slowest people. And no, I'm not talking about some octogenarian with a walker or a cane; I'm talking a normal 20-30-or 40-something, that cannot seem to grasp the "talk and walk" strategy. I don't understand this phenomenon. If you are talking on your cell phone, what is it that makes you walk at a snail like pace? If I give you a piece of gum, will you completely stumble all over yourself and die? This is multitasking at its most basic level, folks.
Now I am going to level with you: I am short. I'm only 5'4, which means I have little bitty stumpy legs. So when I can lap you while walking with a normal stride, methinks you are walking too slow. Tell Stacey you can't call her back until you learn how to lift your foot and put it in front of the other to create a propelled movement forward.
Tied in with the blinding disdain I have for these turtle-paced assholes, I also need to mention the loathsome existence of people who walk in large groups. Well, not groups per se, but in a horizontal line of 4-5+ people. Who THEN refuse to move when there is someone walking in the opposite direction. What is this, some sick, twisted game of Red Rover? Be polite and MOVE, shitface. You don't own the sidewalk. Plus, what are you trying to prove walking in a row like that? Are you the Monkees? Cuz you look freakin' ridiculous. I can't wait for the day when the street sweeper accidentally knocks off a flank of your minions and sweeps them into oblivion. That will teach you.
